JustOlder

It's Easier to Laugh, than Fight

I don’t want to wind up like so many older couples who go to restaurants and sit stiffly, like frozen popcicles, staring at anything but each other. It’s true that my husband’s eyes sometimes glaze over in the middle of one of my sentences, but at least he’s looking at me when it happens.

Maybe one reason he and I still talk is that we’re still friends. We’ve accepted the fact that we’re both flawed.  Sure, there are times when we both wonder, "What on earth was I thinking when I married that that . . . that . . . unreasonable, selfish . . ?"  I’m sure, too, that those questions would pop up no matter who we had married.

It May be Jacks, but I'm Still in the Game

Apart from any serious medical problems, I'm convinced that one reason we start "feeling old" is because we stop acting young. It is a theory I have not exactly researched, but I know I feel less Old Fogey-ish when I put some spring in my step.  That can be hard to do when your arches are flat and your balance is iffy. Nevertheless, we all still get urges to do silly things and I like to go with those urges when I can, to lessen my image as Persona Passé.

I was drinking a soda recently and did something I used to do as an adolescent. The drink was on the table in front of me so I bent down to suck on the straw without using my hands. Not a big deal, but then I emptied the glass with that rattle that means mostly air is getting through the straw. It was a token thing and it didn’t require gymnastics, but I liked how it made me feel. I probably looked a little goofy, but at least I felt younger.

The Secret only Adults Know

It was the early 1960’s and with my new license, I was driving our white De Soto on Robertson Boulevard, toward town. All the windows were down, the antennas on the tail fins were up, and the radio was blaring rock and roll. As the palm trees blew by I savored the taste of adult independence, at least for the few minutes it took to make the trip. Instinctively I knew that it was a unique and special time of life. I somehow knew, too, that it would be fleeting. What I didn’t know was something that remained a secret until I was much older.

Because of that secret, I think I’ll issue a warning to anyone under the age of 18. You’ve heard it before and it probably won’t mean any more to you now than it did to any of us then, but I’m going to repeat it, anyway. Don't be in a hurry to grow up. 

But that's not the secret . . .

The Incredible Shrinking Brain

I was feeling a little gloomy the other day, so I ran some errands, just to get out of the house. When I turned on the car radio, someone was explaining how studies show that people who get depressed also wind up with smaller brains.

"Uh, oh, " I thought.  "Now I'm not only depressed, I’m scared, too."  Plus, if the little gray cells atrophy with depression, at some point there may not be enough firing synapses left to jump-start a good mood.

If IQ is tied to disposition, only a few laughs separate smart from stupid and, at the time, I couldn’t drum up even an insincere smile. I decided to change the station to something a little less enlightening but, by then, my palms were sweaty and I could feel my heart revving up. Uh-oh. Fast heartbeats. You don’t suppose . . .

Drat!  I read somewhere that depression and heart problems might be linked too, but I couldn’t dwell on that because I would become even more upset and my outlook would surely get worse, shrinking my poor cerebrum even faster.  I was afraid, by the time I pulled back into my driveway, if I could even find it by then, my brain would be the size of a shelled walnut.

So Why'd You Get Married, Anyway?

Before I met and settled down with the love of my life, I asked lots of people what it was that made them decide to get married. No one ever gave me a cogent answer, or at least not one that satisfied me. Nothing they said was rational. Instead, it was always the usual, "Because we were in love," or, "We just wanted to be together." It was all emotion, and I couldn’t relate.

I waited a long time to get married, so of course I was asked why I stayed single so long. All I could say was that I had never met anyone I couldn’t live without. I still haven’t, but I met someone I didn’t want to live without. Now that I am married, I can’t give a rational answer to why I was willing to become half of a whole either, but I guess that isn’t as bad as it sounds.

Grandma's Outfits - Then and Now

When they were my age, my grandmothers would not have dressed the way I do, because it would have been totally "improper", and un-lady-like. In fact, were they to see how I dress at this time of life, they would have a true hissie-fit. These were women who did not own a pair of long pants, much less five-pocket jeans, and a trip to San Francisco required hat and gloves. Neither of them was a fashion plate, but they adhered to the modes of the day – and they didn’t question them.

Black and white photographs of my grandmothers show middle-aged women in print cotton dresses, with bodies that had been re-formed (perhaps deformed) early on by tight-laced corsets. They are wearing sensible shoes on their small feet, and their hair is either in a net or in tight curls close to the head. No running shoes, no tee shirts, and little or no make-up. Yet they somehow seem comfortable with themselves, and that is how I remember them. Looking back, I wonder if they weren’t more at home with their bodies and with their roles as older women than are my counterparts, and I, in our modern frantic world.

Older Bodies are a Disguise

During a recent conversation with a seventeen-year-old girl, I realized that I have developed an uncanny ability to fool people. In fact, she was so taken in that she really thought she was talking to an older woman.

Because of my skills in this particular area, I am certain that she was equating me with her mother, or at least an aunt, and had absolutely no idea that I am really just about her age – around 25 years old. It is true that on bad days I feel a little older – maybe 35 – but, for the most part, I’m still pretty young. Other people just don’t realize it because I’m fooling them by my appearance.

Having a Fit about Getting Fit

With some prodding from my husband, I have joined that special bunch of Boomers that is desperately trying to resist the aging process. Unfortunately, trying not to go downhill is an uphill battle. Every bit of me wants to plop comfortably onto the sofa and let my body parts settle into a gelatinous puddle. However, since I don’t like the prospect of looking ninety when I’m ninety, I’ve embarked on a new lifestyle. What a trauma.

The Guilty Side of Retirement

Today I felt a teensy bit guilty about being retired. I was watching other people drive to work and noticed that most of them looked pretty annoyed. I, on the other hand, was smiling and singing a Golden Oldie, on my way to Starbuck’s. As soon as the guilt hit I had to quickly remind myself that it took me close to forty years to reach this point and I really should try to enjoy it.

Centenarians are not only Alive, they're Living Life

Centenarians are living history. They were born when Teddy Roosevelt was president, air conditioning and telephones were luxuries, and the movies cost just five cents without sound. In 1908, Henry Ford started the first assembly line for his Model T, but most people still got around by horse and buggy.  Life After 100 - ABC