It's Easier to Laugh, than Fight

I don’t want to wind up like so many older couples who go to restaurants and sit stiffly, like frozen popcicles, staring at anything but each other. It’s true that my husband’s eyes sometimes glaze over in the middle of one of my sentences, but at least he’s looking at me when it happens.

Maybe one reason he and I still talk is that we’re still friends. We’ve accepted the fact that we’re both flawed.  Sure, there are times when we both wonder, "What on earth was I thinking when I married that that . . . that . . . unreasonable, selfish . . ?"  I’m sure, too, that those questions would pop up no matter who we had married.

Most of the time, laughter can bridge a gap.  Besides, it's easier to see the humor in things than it is to percolate anger. It takes a lot of energy to embrace hurt feelings and fan the fires of resentment. It takes real effort to rehearse, over and over, what to say to him if only he would apologize. Then, if he does, I unload all of that telling-him-off I’ve memorized.  Before he can get "I’m sorry" out of his mouth, I’ve pounced. "You should be," I snap. Or I blast him with, "’Sorry’ won’t cut it, mister!" The bell in my head rings for Round Two and I’m ready to score a TKO, or go the full fifteen, if necessary.

It’s much more fun to laugh at our foibles and it’s one of the best ways to end an argument.  With laughter, it doesn’t matter who’s right and who’s wrong, because the entire disagreement becomes a big so-what.  Usually it’s the least angry one who tries to be funny first.

Since I was the one who was the least worked-up after one of our disagreements, I asked, "Are you still mad at me?"

"Yes."  Ah.  Hostile, yet simple and straightforward.  I pushed on.

"Well, how much longer do you think you're going to need to be angry?"

He looked at me as if he couldn’t quite believe the question, but quickly came up with, "About ten minutes."

"Okay," I said. "I want to go to the bookstore, so let me know when you’re done."

"I’m done," he said, grabbing his wallet. "Let’s go."

See?  It ended in a tie and we still think it's funny. 

　

Comments

[credit loans]

Some time before, I needed to buy a car for my firm but I didn't earn enough cash and couldn't purchase something. Thank goodness my mother suggested to try to take the loan at reliable bank. Therefore, I acted so and used to be satisfied with my bank loan.

[Lyons28Josefa]

Houses are quite expensive and not every person is able to buy it. But, personal loans are invented to aid different people in such kind of situations.

[Lucy]

It's funny you mention the stiff, married popsicles having dinner together at a restaurant. I've thought, for a long time, I could tell, just by watching them for five or ten minutes, which couples were dating and which ones were married. Daters do more than eat. They laugh, they look into each other's eyes, and they chat. The seem to enjoy each other's company. I know that holds true for married people, too, but sadly, a lot of them seem interested only in the food. At least, though, they're still spending time together, and maybe they talk when no one is watching. That's probably the case, so, who am I to judge?