There is the Law of Physics, the Law of Diminishing Returns, the Law of Gravity and the Law of the Land. After nearly twenty-seven years of marriage, my husband and I have also discovered the Law of Looking Stupid. It has nothing to do with hostility, at least not at the outset. In fact, it usually begins with pure motives and is set into motion with a certain amount of good will.
Unfortunately, it inevitably results in one pulverized ego. It is a "couple thing" and occurs between two people who have a future together, so that incidents can be recalled for years to come - usually by the one who ended up looking smart.
Since I was feeling a little lethargic one Saturday, my husband suggested I take a multi-vitamin, even though it was late in the afternoon. I was afraid it might keep me awake past my normal bedtime, so I hesitated to take his advice. He poo-pooed my concerns and reassured me there was nothing to worry about. In fact, he said, "What’s in a vitamin? I can take them any time of the day, and they don’t bother me at all." Then he insisted, "Take one. You’ll feel better, believe me." So I did, and sure enough, I felt better. I felt better for a long time. As the Law of Looking Stupid would have it, I got to sleep the following Tuesday.
Forgetting what would inevitably happen, I suggested, "Turn here, because there are fewer lights this way." He complied, and sure enough, we hadn’t gone more than a few blocks when, not only did we discover at least two new stoplights had been installed, absolutely every one of them greeted us by turning red.
Totally frustrated, he decided to take another street and, ignoring the Law that was looming, I warned, "I wouldn’t do that, if I were you. We’ll run into a lot of traffic." He did it anyway, and just as I was saying, "You’ll be sorry," he stepped on the gas and we sailed merrily along, through a sea of green lights, sharing the road with only a few other travelers who were, like my husband, smiling.
Although I am not good with math, I can see an equation here. The degree of certainty, plus the number of times the thing is said, equals the likelihood of looking stupid. If I am less than sure about my advice, chances are fifty-fifty I will be right. If, however, I am adamant and insist that I know what I’m talking about, I don’t stand a chance.
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