A Virulent Strain of Hickies

Disease are always scary and, like most people, I get concerned when I see evidence of something going around.

There is a new virile strain of something called "Hickies," and it seems to be reaching epidemic proportions. Those poor people who catch it have ugly, red and blue marks on their necks (and who knows where else), and it looks like the devil. My mom says it resembles a condition that was called "Monkey Bites" in her day, but years ago it was fairly rare and people didn’t get such severe cases. I guess the strain has mutated into something stronger.

I saw at least ten cases in one store this week-end and I’m sure I would have seen a lot more, had I checked every aisle. It’s a little scary, but I probably shouldn’t be alarmed, because evidently it afflicts only the young. All I can say is, I hope it isn’t an airborne bacteria, because even though it probably isn’t life threatening, it still looks dreadful. The people I’ve seen who have caught it don’t seem to be worried though, so I guess it isn’t fatal.

I feel sorry for the girls, because they seem to be more susceptible to the disease, and they always have the worst cases. I’m sure it’s contagious too, because whenever I see young couples, they both have it.

Contaminated people obviously know how to treat the condition. Evidently it has to be exposed to the air, which means those who are infected have to wear very scanty tops. Naturally that also makes it obvious to everyone that these people are carriers and that serves as an alarm to others to keep their distance, so they don’t catch it. In fact, by making it a point to show the symptoms of the disease, carriers are probably less likely to be sued if someone catches it from them. It’s sort of like wearing a sandwich board that says, "Keep away, I’ve got Hickies!" and they can always claim that anybody who caught it from them should have seen it coming, and stayed clear.

I know for sure that Hickies is a spring and summer disease, but I would wager it isn’t limited to only warm weather. It is probably still active during the flu season too, but maybe you just can’t see the symptoms from October through March, when people are all bundled up.

On the way out of the store I told my husband I sure didn’t want to catch Hickies, and he said not to worry, because he was absolutely certain I was not at risk.

Comments

[Tina Anderson]

This is hilarious! I can recall asking kids on my caseload if the vacuum cleaner got ahold of them.